I want to stick my p in your. b.
Kareoke will never be a sober sport
I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
Randomize
