we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
Randomize
