I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
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