I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
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