she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Randomize
