doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
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