just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
Randomize
