So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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