on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
