That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
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