OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
Randomize
