That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
Randomize
