You're so nebulous sometimes
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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