I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
Green mimosas i think yes
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
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