Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
and i looked up. we had an audience...
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
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