If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
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