I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
