I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Randomize
