like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
Randomize
