how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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