by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
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After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
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I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
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