U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
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