Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Randomize
