She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
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