I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
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In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
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Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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