he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Randomize