if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
Randomize
