So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
you had me at cake vodka
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
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