Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
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