Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
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