you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Randomize
