So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
He told me they were just razor bumps!
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
Randomize
