If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
Randomize
