hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
Randomize
