Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
Randomize
