so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
