I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
You are a genius and a whore.
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Randomize