you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this just has baby written all over it
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
Randomize