I faked an abortion last night.
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
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he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
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Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
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