they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
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