i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Randomize
