I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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