return my video game
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
Randomize
