Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
I'm always down for nudity.
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