I looked at my own cervix.
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
worst night to have a conscience
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
