So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
Randomize
