If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
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