I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
Randomize
