Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
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