he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
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