I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
Randomize
