i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
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