Tell her she can't have a vagina
She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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