Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
Randomize
