Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
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he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
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Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
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