Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
There's a naked man in my car right now.
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
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