So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
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