I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
